Best Friends

I am consistently talking about my best friends, and how important they are to have, etc. However, last night, as I was sitting there, thinking how thankful I am for my besties, I realized that I had never written a post explaining why best friends are so important. So, here ya go. I’m going to try and write 5 reasons why best friends are so important to have, and some ways I’m super thankful for my besties.

Reason #1: Besties always have your back

I always thought that phrase just meant that a friend would back you up in an argument or something, but it actually means a lot more. It means that your bestie is always there when you need them, and that you can rely on them. Kind of like how, in a trust fall, you trust that your bestie is behind you (at your back, as it where), ready to catch you.

Reason #2: Besties are ready to sit back and listen to you (and if they’re not, it’s probably for a good reason)

For the past week or so I’ve been crazy emotional. From crying, to thankful, to depressed. You name it, I felt it, and I didn’t always do a good job of controlling it. Throughout the whole thing, one of my besties was always there, ready to listen to what I was saying, and reassure me that I was just being emotional, and nothing’s actually wrong.

Reason #3: Besties are there to help you heal

Parents are there to say no, even if they don’t want to. There the responsible person who needs to lay down the law. And, that’s great, but sometimes it hurts. If you’re upset about something, and said parent lays down the law, they aren’t always the person you want to go to to heal/ feel better. A bestie will sit with you (or chat with you on messenger) as long as it takes for you to feel better. Parents help instruct, and besties help you along through that instruction.

Reason #4: Besties are the family you chose

Family isn’t easy. I was blessed to have a pretty great family, but sometimes family is just awful. When you have a bestie, they feel like family. They come over, won’t care what you look like, or what anything in the house looks like, and just be with you. I’ve had some great times with my besties just sitting around laughing and having fun together. The best friends are the ones you can just sit/ be with, and be totally happy. Not just happy, but loved.

Reason #5: Besties love you no matter what

This has another meaning to it, too, that I didn’t know until I got older. It isn’t so much going through fights and still loving each other, but always loving each other no matter the situation. The older you get, the harder it is to hang out, and sometimes the farther apart you are. But, if you really love someone, then that love can withstand any trial, and any amount of space if you choose to make it do so.

I have been super fortunate to have a lot of besties in my life. They have always loved me, always been there for me, and I can’t imagine my life without them. Best friends are the people you laugh with, and make stupid jokes with, and who bring true joy to your life when everything might feel awful. Sometimes they give you an escape from life, just for an afternoon, and it helps you recharge and be ready to fight another day.

I love my best friends with my whole heart, and I’m so thankful that they’ve stuck with me throughout this crazy stretch of life. I’m also thankful that I get to keep making best friends in every stretch of life I happen upon.

“Best Friend”

I feel like the label “best friend” is a very complicated subject. A best friend is simply someone you love to be around, and who loves you back. It’s really not that different from a dating relationship, except that when you’re best friends there’s nothing romantic about it. It’s just two people who love each other and who like to hang out. Having best friends throughout my life has actually taught me a lot about people skills, and relationships, and the different types of relationships you can have.

When I was little my mom always suggested that I not have a “best friend” because it’s kind of a dumb label (I don’t remember if that was her reason, but it’s the best reason I can remember). I mean, what makes one friend better than another? When we use the label “best friend”, we cut off our options. A lot of people think you can only have one friend who’s “best”, and that’s not true. I mean, look at all the tv shows and movies where there were two besties, and one of them made a new friend. Usually someone’s jealous of this new friend because they’re afraid they’ll lose their bestie. And, sure, there’s the potential to lose your “best friend” when they make a new friend, but you could also turn your duo into a trio by accepting this new friend into the group. Or maybe your confidant (we’re gonna shy away from using the term “best friend” at the moment) has multiple friends, because they need multiple different people in their lives.

When I was little I thought my mom was wrong about the “best friends” label, because, once I got my first real best friend, I saw how cool it was, and how great it felt to have that one friend that I could go to with anything. But, the older I got, the more friends I made, and the more strong relationships I had, I realized that it’s kind of impossible to have one best friend. And the term “best friend” made it kind of complicated to have multiple besties. Each person in our lives holds a different purpose, and adds different things to our lives that maybe we didn’t know we needed (sometimes they add different things we know we didn’t need, but that’s a whole ‘nother topic). We need those different people in our lives, and by thinking we can only have one “best friend” we’re closing off a whole different door that could change our entire lives.

I don’t even know why the term “best friend” got started (maybe to make other friends jealous?), but to me it doesn’t mean that one friend is better than the other. It means that that friend is my confidant, my partner in crime, and my copilot. We stick together because we love each other, not because we’re somehow “better” than anyone else. I used that term because I needed a name for this person that I liked to hang out with, and best friend was the one the rest of the world used, so I stuck with that. However, from now on, I’m gonna try to stick with something more like confidant. Having a best friend isn’t (nor should it ever be) about who’s better, but about the people we love.