Best Friends

I am consistently talking about my best friends, and how important they are to have, etc. However, last night, as I was sitting there, thinking how thankful I am for my besties, I realized that I had never written a post explaining why best friends are so important. So, here ya go. I’m going to try and write 5 reasons why best friends are so important to have, and some ways I’m super thankful for my besties.

Reason #1: Besties always have your back

I always thought that phrase just meant that a friend would back you up in an argument or something, but it actually means a lot more. It means that your bestie is always there when you need them, and that you can rely on them. Kind of like how, in a trust fall, you trust that your bestie is behind you (at your back, as it where), ready to catch you.

Reason #2: Besties are ready to sit back and listen to you (and if they’re not, it’s probably for a good reason)

For the past week or so I’ve been crazy emotional. From crying, to thankful, to depressed. You name it, I felt it, and I didn’t always do a good job of controlling it. Throughout the whole thing, one of my besties was always there, ready to listen to what I was saying, and reassure me that I was just being emotional, and nothing’s actually wrong.

Reason #3: Besties are there to help you heal

Parents are there to say no, even if they don’t want to. There the responsible person who needs to lay down the law. And, that’s great, but sometimes it hurts. If you’re upset about something, and said parent lays down the law, they aren’t always the person you want to go to to heal/ feel better. A bestie will sit with you (or chat with you on messenger) as long as it takes for you to feel better. Parents help instruct, and besties help you along through that instruction.

Reason #4: Besties are the family you chose

Family isn’t easy. I was blessed to have a pretty great family, but sometimes family is just awful. When you have a bestie, they feel like family. They come over, won’t care what you look like, or what anything in the house looks like, and just be with you. I’ve had some great times with my besties just sitting around laughing and having fun together. The best friends are the ones you can just sit/ be with, and be totally happy. Not just happy, but loved.

Reason #5: Besties love you no matter what

This has another meaning to it, too, that I didn’t know until I got older. It isn’t so much going through fights and still loving each other, but always loving each other no matter the situation. The older you get, the harder it is to hang out, and sometimes the farther apart you are. But, if you really love someone, then that love can withstand any trial, and any amount of space if you choose to make it do so.

I have been super fortunate to have a lot of besties in my life. They have always loved me, always been there for me, and I can’t imagine my life without them. Best friends are the people you laugh with, and make stupid jokes with, and who bring true joy to your life when everything might feel awful. Sometimes they give you an escape from life, just for an afternoon, and it helps you recharge and be ready to fight another day.

I love my best friends with my whole heart, and I’m so thankful that they’ve stuck with me throughout this crazy stretch of life. I’m also thankful that I get to keep making best friends in every stretch of life I happen upon.

Hugs and Thank Yous

Because of my love of hugs, I hug a ton of people. There are a lot of people at my church that I love, and that kinda feel like family, so I almost have a list of people that I hug whenever I’m at church. Nobody really thought anything of it, but recently I’ve gotten a few thank yous when I hug people.

Some people love hugs, but are too introverted to go up and hug someone. Sometimes people need someone who’s not afraid to break boundaries, because it can be harder for them to break those boundaries themselves. Or, sometimes we’re in a hard spot in life, but we don’t know how to talk about it, or we don’t want to talk about. So, when we get that hug, it’s kinda like someone’s saying, “Hey, I’m here for you, and I love you. Keep going.”

There are a lot of reasons someone could be thankful for a hug. I know I’m really thankful for hugs. I’m the type of person who does a really good job of not showing it when I’m hurting, or when I need help. Not that I won’t ask for help, I just don’t let what’s going on rule my life (on the outside). So, when I get a hug from someone, or when I give a hug, there are a few moments when I feel better. When I’m hugged, I feel loved, and supported, and like I’ve got people who are continuously supporting me.

I love it when people say thank you when I give them a hug. It’s like that’s the thing I can do to brighten someone’s day, or love them, or make them feel better. However, hugs aren’t always a huge deal to people, and some people don’t even like hugs.

I’m reading a book right now about Love Languages. I haven’t gotten very far in yet, but it’s really interesting. It’s explaining that not everyone gets love from the same things. Some people need words of affirmation, or physical touch. Everyone’s different, but this is something I can do to love on people, and it’s one of my favorite things in the world.

My Necklace

I’ve got this necklace that I’ve been wearing since ninth grade. It started as kind of a friendship thing with one friend, but I got a few more charms over the last couple years, and it’s turned into more of a blanket friendship thing. If I get a charm, or a ring, from a really good friend, it goes on the necklace.

I was thinking the other day about what I’d do if, when I grew up, I wasn’t friends with any of the people that have charms on my necklace. Then I started to think of how cool it would be to someday tell my kids, or my grandkids, about some of the coolest friendships I ever had.

Just because life is changing doesn’t mean I lose the people that I’m close to. Sure, things will be different. I might not see them very often, if at all. We might not talk much. But, I will always have memories of those friends, and I’ve learned some pretty amazing things from them that I’ll never forget.

You ever think about why God created us to be social creatures even though life is constantly changing, and we often get pulled away from the people we’re close to? Well, I do, and I think I know why. I think it’s because of all the things we learn from so many different people. Part of the reason I have so many friendship charms is because with every stage of life, things change. God knew I would need different people to teach me different things. I met my first bestie in seventh grade, and I needed her because my family just switched churches, and I needed someone who was good at loving people, and making friends, so I’d feel welcomed at church and would be able to have good friendships in the future.

Not everyone likes changes (I don’t usually), but that doesn’t mean they’re not important, and not good for us. One of the biggest changes in my life was switching churches five and a half years ago, and it has made a huge impact on me. I’ve learned so much about people, my relationship with God has grow a ton, and I’ve learned a lot about the body of Christ. I’d never really had a church family until we switched churches, and it means the world to me.

I Is a Thankful Duck

I spent this last weekend home alone (not completely, but my sister was at work most of the days, so I was pretty much by myself), and so much happened that I’m really thankful for. So, for this post, I’m basically gonna tell you about my weekend, and some of the things I’m really thankful for.

In prep for my parents to leave, we were considering what to do if the power went out. We had a super bad snow storm two weeks ago, so we were trying to figure out what to do if we lost power (who we’d call, where we could go with our two dogs, etc.). My mom mentioned it to one of her friends, and almost immediately she said “Oh, they can come to my house.”

Thankful thing #1: how giving, and willing to go out of their way, so many people have been while my parents are gone; I’ve had multiple people make sure we had rides if we needed them, and be willing to go out of their way to help us

My parents left on Thursday. Thursday was a good day. I basically did whatever I wanted (and some school). There wasn’t much that happened, but I really enjoyed the peace and quiet. I was nervous about being left completely home alone because I didn’t know how I’d do if I was anxious or depressed and alone. But, it went great. I did pretty well not being anxious about things I had planned for later in the weekend, too.

On Friday, I didn’t do so hot. I did my best, but I was still pretty nervous about my best friend coming over later that night (my anxiety tends to pop up in social situations), so I spent a lot of the day battling anxiety and trying to calm myself down. Eventually, I called one of my youth leaders, and she really helped. She calmed me down, and she talked with me on the phone as long as she could/ as long as I needed to so I’d be distracted. Of course, when she had to hang up, my best friend hadn’t shown up at my house yet. I started getting nervous, but then I calmed myself down and when my bestie showed up I ran out and gave her a super big hug. We had a super fun night, and it was exactly what we both needed.

Thankful thing #2: people who take time out of their day to help me, and be there for me; even if it’s hard, even if it’s ugly, or scary; they’re still there

Next comes Saturday. Saturday morning we had puppet practice at church, and I was ecstatic. The lady who’s in charge of puppets said she’d pick us up and drop us off (even though she doesn’t live anywhere near my house). What made me so excited/ happy about puppet practice was that I felt completely normal. I was awake, I was ready, had no anxiety, and no nausea. Usually, when someone comes to pick me up, I’m a wreck. But, I felt just as normal as I did long before any of this even started. Saturday night I had a small group party, and the same thing happened with that. I felt happy, and excited, and not the least bit nervous.

Thankful thing #3: I have a friend who lives nearby who was able to give me rides Saturday night through Sunday afternoon; so, if I felt bad (anxious, nervous, nauseous), I had someone there who knew what to do, could help me, and wouldn’t ask many questions or worry about me because she’s pretty in the loop

Sunday morning was one of the primary things I was thankful for. If I’m anxious, Sunday mornings are always the hardest, so I had no idea how I’d feel that week. I woke up super early on Sunday (not on purpose), so I had plenty of time to wake up, and get a good state of mind going. As far as anxiety goes, I had a little. (That’s primarily because I had some sort of bug this week, so my stomach was upset, anxiety or not.) I think I did really well with managing what little anxiety I had. I went to church, felt great, and felt normal. I was able to do all the things I used to, and I really enjoyed them.

A friend of mine really started getting me into talking to people about my anxiety, and not being afraid to talk about what’s going on in my life. So, while I was helping in the 2’s and 3’s room that morning, I didn’t shy away from talking about it when some friends of mine asked how I was doing. These friends of mine are adults, one of which being my friend’s mom, and they’re the dopest (that’s a technical term).

I don’t normally hug this friend’s mom (nor do I normally hug random people, as hard as that is to believe), but I did that morning because it just seemed to fit, and she’s dope, and I figured she’d like hugs. So, I gave her a quick hug, but then she held onto that hug way longer than I did. So I stayed there, and while we were hugging she told me a verse that has to do with anxiety. I don’t know if she was trying to be encouraging, but she totally did, and it really helped. Not only is scripture helpful, but knowing that I have people in my life who love me, and are willing to help me, makes going to church, and doing anything, a lot easier. (And, hugs in general are great.)

Thankful thing #4: I’m thankful for all the people at my church who love me, and tell me that; there are so many people I could go to if I needed anything, even if that’s just a hug

Thankful thing #5: all the BEAUTIFUL kids at my church who bring joy to my life; they probably don’t know it, and I doubt they ever will, but they’ve really made this time I’ve been anxious a lot easier (anytime I’d feel anxious, or like I really didn’t want to “people”, I knew I could go and get a hug from one of my kiddos; it really made me feel a lot better)

And, Thankful thing #6: I am thankful for all the super cool moms I’ve gotten to know through working with kids at my church; all these moms show so much love, and they treat me like a person, not just a kid; they encourage me, and treat me like a friend; I don’t know why that’s always stood out to me, but I do know that there’s this crazy band of strong, godly women in my life, and I’m incredibly thankful to be able to call them my friends