FOMO is an acronym for Fear Of Missing Out. Basically, it means you do everything, and work your butt off, so that you don’t miss out on anything that could be fun.
When you have FOMO, you tend to push yourself to the limit. You think, “Oh, I can do one more thing. No problem!” Thinking it’ll be great, when, in reality, you’re just pushing yourself so hard you can’t enjoy it. You can’t enjoy anything because you’re so exhausted all the time.
There can be two different types of FOMO. Some people have regular old FOMO, and don’t want to miss out on the fun. But, some people can have a type that’s more service based. You’re pushing yourself so hard because you have this mindset that it’s okay to push too hard to help others.
I really struggle with the second type. Sometimes, life is just busy. That doesn’t mean you have type two FOMO, it just means you’ve got things to do. I get that. However, sometimes it really is just FOMO, and you don’t have to do all the things you think you do.
I was sitting in church one day, looked over my shoulder, and saw our pastor’s wife walking along holding a baby (she had just come out of the nursery). I was thinking about how, so often, pastor’s families do EVERYTHING in the church. Not because they think they have to, just because they’re good at serving others. I know a few pastor’s kids who are so busy with helping in the church that they’re rarely in church, or Sunday school. They take on every job, or need, just because they can. And some, because they’re the “pastor’s kid”. I get wanting to help, and it’s really great, but no one person should be solely responsible for serving.
If we, who have FOMO, sign up for everything, thinking no one else will, then it is definite that NO ONE ELSE WILL. Our FOMO is an option. When it comes to service based FOMO, or regular FOMO. We can choose to say, “That’d be super cool to go to, but I have some stuff I already had planned, so I’ll just stick with that.”
Self-care is important. When I realized I had service based FOMO, I realized that by pushing myself so hard to serve others, I was actually being a hinderance. I was so tired that I couldn’t serve well in general. I was doing the opposite of what I had been trying to do, and hurting myself in the process.
We don’t have to give in to either type of FOMO. If you’re afraid of disappointing someone because you have to tell them you can’t serve in the area they’re asking, remember that a true friend, who loves you, will understand and want what’s best for you. And, if they are just mad at you, then you don’t have to take any of they’re crap. Their happiness is NOT your responsibility.