Tag: fear

Getting Up

Some days one of the hardest things you can do is get out of bed. There have been multiple days where I just wanted to avoid the entire world and hide in my wonderful, comfy, perfect cave of blankets and safety. However, just because it seems like a good idea, doesn’t mean it is.

There was one day where I just felt bad; both emotionally and physically. I stayed in bed until ten A.M., and my day didn’t get any better. I just continued to feel worse, and, I didn’t really get anything done that day. Nothing got worse (aside from the fact that I was wallowing in my own emotions), but nothing got better, either.

To avoid another day where I just wallowed and felt terrible, I decided to make sure that I made myself get up every day and get to work. It didn’t have to be a ton of work, but, by making myself get up, I gained a whole new state of mind. I’m awake, and at least ready to be productive, if that’s what I chose to do.

All good choices aside, I totally understand the want to just avoid the world. I’m not nearly as depressed as I once was, but I still have days when I feel like total crap. Life is hard, people are hard, and my bed is comfy and warm. Sometimes, life sucks. But we still need to get up and face it. It’s like I said before. Nothing gets worse, but nothing gets any better, either.

A friend asked me the other day if they could just avoid the hard stuff, and I told them no. I told them that if they avoided this new challenge in their life, they’re missing out on an opportunity to learn something, and to grow, and to be stronger in the end. I have to remind myself of that quite often…

I tend to have two speeds, depending on my mood. I either eat fear for breakfast, or, I hide from everything remotely terrifying.

The Truth

When someone comes to me (clearly upset) and they ask for help, I’ve started to try to be really honest with them. Here’s an example question:

“I’m so nervouse/upset about this situation that’s coming up. I’m afraid I’ll fail. What if I screw up or totally fail?”

Some people would answer with, “Oh, no. You’ll do great.” Like, there’s no chance anything could go wrong. Well, news flash, there’s a ton of things that could go wrong.

In some situations, everything actually is fine, the person really doesn’t have anything to worry about, and they’re just freaking out over nothing. However, in others, they’re not actually prepared and they know it. Lying to someone by just saying, “You’ll do great,” is giving them this false sense of confidence. I’m not saying it’s bad to encourage them that way, but, when there are legitimate things to be nervous about, just ignoring them and hoping for the best doesn’t always work. In either situation, whether there are things to be nervous about or not, I try to help them (and myself) think about the realities of the situation.

I’m nervous pretty much every time I have an offertory to do at church. Not super nervous, I just know there are so many things that could go wrong no matter the amount of practice I have. Now, I can’t control what happens. The amount of worrying I do can only make my performance worse. So, something I try to do when I’m nervous and about to perform, is think about the lies and the truths. Observe:

Lie:

If I screw up, then I’ll never hear the end of it

Truth:

If I screw up, probably no one will remember, or really care

In every situation involving fear, it’s really just a battle of truths vs lies. That’s why, instead of just trying to make someone “feel better”, I try to help them see that they don’t have to believe the lies their fears tell them. I’m definitely gonna encourage them when the time seems right, but the time isn’t always right. Just making them “feel better” is like putting a band-aid on a wound that really needs a couple stitches. If you show them how to ignore the lies their fear tells them, then, eventually, they’ll have a much easier time dealing with fears in general. They’ll be better at fighting fear.

Poster

I made myself my very own inspirational poster. (See below.)

It’s based off a verse from the song, “Towards the Sun,” by Rihanna. The verse is, “Turn your face towards the sun. Let the shadows fall behind you.”

I’ve been trying to let go of whatever anxiety, or fear, that I’ve been having because usually I don’t know why I’m feeling what I do. So, I try to just block it out, and let it go. The verse from the song, and the painting, remind me to just let it all go. All my fears, all my struggles, are the shadows that fall behind me. And that’s all they are. Just shadows.