I Am Extrovert. Watch Me Hide.

I am a total freaking extrovert, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have days where I need to be alone. Even when I’m alone I usually still want a hug, but sometimes not even that.

Some friends of mine had me take the Enneagram test (it’s a personality test). I got a five, which meant that I was perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated. The full description is much less cold, and it fits me really well, but a friend of mine was surprised by the “isolated” part. When I’m really struggling, especially recently, I want nothing more than to be able to just step back, breath, and figure everything out with God.

Just because I’m a social person does not mean I don’t need my space. Everyone needs space. Some people just need less of it.

Lately life’s been hard. I’m doing my best to work it out, but some days you just don’t have as much strength as usual. And that’s okay. It’s important to keep going, and keep fighting, but it’s also important to make sure you stay alive in the process.

When I’m not feeling well I rarely give myself an out because I know it’s important to keep going, and not let my fear and anxiety get to me. Today I wasn’t feeling well, and I for once I actually had the choice to say no. If I said no it wouldn’t make a huge impact on other people, no one would be missing, so I chose no. I gave myself a break. I let myself breath. It was great. I know I’ll have to keep fighting the next day, and that’s okay. But for that day, I got a break.