I really love people, but sometimes that comes back to bite me. One of my biggest struggles is sitting back and watching people wrestle through their struggles. It’s taken me a while (sixteen years or so), but I finally figured out the good in STAYING AWAY.
It’s really easy for me to put everything I have into the lives (and struggles) of other people. And, I mean everything. All I’ll think about is someone else’s struggles and how to fix them. It completely wears me down, and usually does nothing but make more pain for both parties. Something I’ve been learning over the last year is how to back off. At first, it made no sense. Why wouldn’t I want to make other people’s lives better? Well, this is why:
- I can’t live my own life if I’m always worn down
- Other people won’t learn the lessons that come with their struggles if I fix them
- Sometimes we need to face things ourselves to really feel the weight of what’s going on
- It’s impossible to change someone else’s mind
That last one is probably one of the main reasons I quit. People are like sheep. They’re never going to change what they’re doing until they realize for themselves what needs to be done. Even if it makes total sense to me, no amount of convincing will make someone change their mind.
So, after stopping trying to fix everything (that was never mine to fix anyway), I’ve felt great! No longer am I always thinking about “problems”, or feeling stressed, or emotionally out of it. Mainly, I don’t feel so much weight. I don’t feel like I have to fix things. Obviously there are still times when I want to fix things, and when I feel the burden, but then I give it to God and say, “I’ve already seen countless times how I can’t fix/ change anything. So, I’m giving it to you, because I know that eventually you’ll help them see the wisdom they need.”
Here’s where my inner “mom” comes out. I hate sitting back and watching. I’m pretty sure anyone who’s a mom can agree that it’s hard to watch your kids learn something the hard way because they wouldn’t listen. But, I think they can also agree that it needs to happen. Some of the best lessons are the ones we learn on our own. It’s like reading about something versus doing it. In the end, which will give you more experience?