You know those times when you see someone doing something CRAZY like eating a food you don’t like, and actually enjoying it? Or, maybe someone doesn’t know something “obvious” so you comment about how they should’ve known it already? Well, these are all things people do, usually unintentionally, and they really suck on the receiving end.
The kinds of reactions I put above are pretty normal human being things. But to the person who might not know something, or maybe really likes to eat something you think is gross, is really hurt by the fact that you’re essentially calling them an idiot by those responses.
I’m not writing this to call anybody out, or make anyone feel bad. I’m writing this because most people respond that way unintentionally. I mean, I used to respond that way all the time, and I still do. What I want to keep from happening is people accidentally hurting others because they didn’t know how these responses affect other people. There have been plenty of times when some of my closest friends have made me feel like a total idiot by using those responses. I’m absolutely certain they didn’t mean to, but they still did. And it still hurt.
I think the goal here is to think about how what you’re saying might affect someone else. Instead of saying, “You didn’t know that? But you’re a senior in high school?” You could say, “Now you do get to know it!” It’s building each other up instead of beating each other down.
I brought this up because I’ve been seeing it a lot lately, and I wanted to show others who might not know they’re doing it. Not to tell them they have to change, but to show them something different so they have a choice. There was a week where I got those responses nearly every time I was around my friends. I knew they didn’t mean anything by it, but it hurt, and I was beat down. I really didn’t want to see, or hang out with, any of them. I needed some time to remind myself of the truths of the matter. Not what anyone else thought (even though they may not have been thinking it in the first place).
Very good thoughts. Thinking before we speak is always wise. James described the tongue as having the ability to start a forest fire. Yes indeed!