It was a delightful afternoon. I was sitting there, doing my math, and thinking, “Why couldn’t I have a useful skill?” I mean, not that I don’t like the skills that I do have, but why couldn’t I be good at math, or history, or science, or something that’d actually be useful in life?

My mom likes to joke about how my sister and I are both really good at all the things that are notorious for making people go broke. We’re good at art, music, photography, writing. Basically, if it’s impractical, we got it.

While I was doing my math, I wasn’t exactly annoyed; but I was sitting there wondering what the heck God was thinking when he made me. After the initial, “What the heck?!”, moment I had, I started to think about all things I can do that no one else can.

Through my art, I’ve really been able to reach people, and be raw with them, in a way I’ve never been able to before. I’ve been able to inspire people, and make them laugh, and show them beauty in so many different ways. I’ve been able to tell my story, and multiple others. I see the world differently, and through my art I can show people what I see. I can bring little joys into their lives.

I did a painting once that didn’t exactly turn out how I hoped, but I think it really became what it was supposed to.

It shows me swimming in a tranquil pool of my own thoughts, and creativity (that’s what the colors are). And, for all the sometimes my creativity is the exact opposite of what I need, it’s who I am, and it’s what I’m good at, and it’s what I’ve got to bring to the party. Everyone has their own stuff that they’re good at, and without everyone’s uniqueness, the world would be boring. It would become an unseasoned meal. So much potential to be tasty, but it’s just not there.

So, I decided to embrace my creativity and talents (not that I hadn’t already). I’m really good at what I do, and I’m really thankful for all the things I can do with it.

Stupid Wisdom…

I’ve been told I’m a pretty wise person (especially for someone my age). Most of the time, I’m really proud of that. It keeps me out of trouble and it helps me make the right choices, which makes me pretty trustworthy. HOWEVER, sometimes I hate it. The right choices often aren’t the fun ones, or the easy ones, or the ones I want to pick. But, I know they’re the right choices, so, usually, I can’t help but make them. Sometimes my wisdom feels more like a curse than a blessing.

All in all, wise choices are the better ones. But, sometimes they suck. Like my choice about college. It’s smart, it’s wise, but I’m still sad, and still disappointed. That’s okay. No one ever said the right choices would be the fun ones. But, they’re still the right choices.

People go every day with making whatever choice they think is best, and rolling with it, weather it’s the best choice or not. You don’t have to make the wise choice. Sometimes you learn a lot from the less wise choice. The key, though, is to make the best choice you can, stand by it, and do everything you can to make the most out of it.

I think this post was more about me venting over having to make hard choices. So, for that, I apologize. However, this does go out to all the people that are making the wise choices (the hard choices) and don’t know that it’s okay to grieve over them. Something can be the complete right choice, and still feel awful. It’s okay to cry about it. It’s reasonable to cry about it, or grieve in whatever way you do. Just make sure you don’t stay in that area of grieving forever.