Stupid Wisdom…

I’ve been told I’m a pretty wise person (especially for someone my age). Most of the time, I’m really proud of that. It keeps me out of trouble and it helps me make the right choices, which makes me pretty trustworthy. HOWEVER, sometimes I hate it. The right choices often aren’t the fun ones, or the easy ones, or the ones I want to pick. But, I know they’re the right choices, so, usually, I can’t help but make them. Sometimes my wisdom feels more like a curse than a blessing.

All in all, wise choices are the better ones. But, sometimes they suck. Like my choice about college. It’s smart, it’s wise, but I’m still sad, and still disappointed. That’s okay. No one ever said the right choices would be the fun ones. But, they’re still the right choices.

People go every day with making whatever choice they think is best, and rolling with it, weather it’s the best choice or not. You don’t have to make the wise choice. Sometimes you learn a lot from the less wise choice. The key, though, is to make the best choice you can, stand by it, and do everything you can to make the most out of it.

I think this post was more about me venting over having to make hard choices. So, for that, I apologize. However, this does go out to all the people that are making the wise choices (the hard choices) and don’t know that it’s okay to grieve over them. Something can be the complete right choice, and still feel awful. It’s okay to cry about it. It’s reasonable to cry about it, or grieve in whatever way you do. Just make sure you don’t stay in that area of grieving forever.

Let’s Talk College

For a long time I didn’t want to go to college. When I was little, I just thought, “College is hard. I don’t want to have to do chemistry.” (Yes, I know, little baby me did not understand that chemistry was the least of her worries.) So, for a long time, my plan was not to go to college. I was going to be an artist (this is the view of slightly older little baby me, who also didn’t understand how stinkin’ hard it is to actually sell art). The older I got, the more realistic things became, and I decided I wanted to go to college. There were things I wanted to do, and I knew I had to learn how to do them.

My biggest conundrum was leaving. I desperately didn’t want to leave my home, my family, or my friends. But, as I got older, I started to get used to the idea. After a long struggle with God, I eventually said, “Okay. Fine. I’ll go where you want me to go, and I’ll do what you want me to do.” Thus, leaving me excited to go to college next fall (after a good while of still getting used to the idea). I was so excited, and happy that I was finally okay with leaving, aaaaand then the ball dropped.

After looking at this next year, I realized that it would really be better for me to take a year off to save money for school, get my license, etc. The more good reasons I saw to stay, it seemed like God was telling me to wait another year. I was so disappointed. After wrestling so long with the idea of leaving, I could not understand why God was telling me to stay. However, at this point, I’m pretty used to God doing things that don’t make sense, and are kind of annoying, and aren’t what I want to do.

There are so many directions I could go with this post. I could talk about college, and why it isn’t always a good idea to go. I could talk about wise choices, and how sometimes they really suck. And, I could talk about how to cope when God pulls that rug out from under you, and you lie there, thinking, “God?! What the heck?!” That’s kind of where I’m at, at the moment. But, eventually you realize that you can’t lie on that rug forever, so you get up, and you walk down the road that God put you on. You keep going, and you try to find the good in the crazy road trip that you’re now on.