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Being a senior in high school, pretty much everyone asks me where I want to go to college. I’ve known for a while now that I want to go to a missions school, and that usually makes people ask even more questions.

I went to a conference a couple months ago, and a friend of mine started asking me where I wanted to college and what I wanted to study. When I told him that I wanted to be a missionary he asked me a really interesting question. He asked me why I wanted to be a missionary. Right of the top of my head, I said, “So I can spread the gospel.” But then he clarified his question a little more. He wanted to know why I wanted to share the gospel.

At the time, I really didn’t have a good answer for him. That doesn’t mean, however, that I stopped thinking about it. I spent a good couple days trying to figure out why. My conclusion was that I love people. I’ve spent enough time observing other people, and myself, to know that a relationship with Christ will change your life for the better, and forever. I wanted to go through life showing people the love I’ve felt from Christ, and showing them how they can have a relationship with Him.

It feels like this post is long over due. I mean, I know it’s only been two weeks since I said I would write it, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

In my post about How to Do Hard Things I said I wanted to share a way that I look for the good. This method can take a lot of work, but it’s really seemed to help me get through the tough spots (when I’ve been able to do it, that is).

When all of life seems terrible I try to look for the good in just about everything. Not just in the big, obvious things, but also in the little things. If I’m sad that it’s raining (which I never am), I try and think about how good it smells, or I’ll look for the light shining off the water droplets and think about how pretty it is. Most of the good I see, and the inspiration I get, are based off of nature. However, there are plenty of good things everywhere else. Say, you walk into work and smell coffee, and it reminds you of your mom. Or, you see a really good friend and they give you a hug just as long as you need them too. I’ve actually been sick for the last couple days, so when I took nighttime cold medicine, and I smelled the chill of a late evening, I was definitely reminded of Christmas.

These little things are often what helps me get through the day and reminds me that not everything is bad. It may seem like everything is falling apart, and it may be, but the little pieces of good give you hope. They can be the emotional glue keeping you together until you can do it on your own.

For all that this is a great method, you have to be careful that you’re not using it as a band-aid to avoid dealing with the hard things. Our struggles are a good thing. We always learn something from them. But, if you hide from them, they will keep getting bigger, and bigger. The “Little Things” method is used to give you a boost. Like having a daily cheering section. If used correctly, it should give you just the right amount of hope you need to keep wading through the water of life.

I know I said last week that I was going to write a post about one way I deal with hard things, but that is not happening this week. I figured before I keep posting I should update everyone on some new things.

I’m going to start posting on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and I’m still going to be doing Photograph Fridays. I’m going to post sometime between 5 and 6, so that if I procrastinate (not that I ever do *cough cough*) I’ll have plenty of time to try and write a post.

Also, Erin Go Blog now has a Facebook page! I really don’t know much about starting a Facebook page, so I guarantee there will be plenty of bumps along the road. This should be another easy way for people to find out when there are any new posts or galleries.

This particular post isn’t really that interesting, but make sure to come back next week. I have a couple good ones in store. 

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My youth group started doing a new series this year and, believe it or not, it’s about how to do hard things. When my youth pastor told us we were studying this I thought to myself, “Really?” I have spent the last five years of my life having to make hard choices back to back.

Year one was my dog bite. That was the first time I really dealt with hardship, and I absorbed every little thing I could learn. It took my about three years to fight through it, and with each year came it’s own branch of new things to learn (at the time I really didn’t see it that way). Throughout those three years I learned the value of hardship. I learned how God can make us stronger through all of it. And, I learned some great ways to deal with hardship when it comes my way.

Last year I discovered I had a nervous stomach. At first I thought it would go away as soon as I learned how to control it, but that didn’t come until NINE MONTHS LATER. Being an extrovert, it was rare that I didn’t want to go out and do something with people. I turned into a hermit, and really wanted to stay home every Sunday from church, and most Wednesdays from youth group. I shut down. I wanted to give up. And, honestly, I gave up hope that I would ever feel normal again. On top of that, I really struggled with depression and anxiety during those nine months. There has never been a point in my life when I felt worse.

Things are a lot better than they have been, but I’m still struggling with those same things. Still trying to learn from them, but also trying to move on, and leave them behinde me. So, when my youth pastor comes over and tells us we need to go out and make hard choices, I wanted to laugh. It was like I had just run a marathon and someone was telling me I had to go and do another one.

I learned a lot from those nine months of struggle, and the last five years of my life that were hard. But, right now, I have two pretty big struggles.

1. I’m struggling with feeling bad for myself, and thinking I deserve a break because, “I went through five years of hard things”
2. I’m struggling with the fear that things will get as bad as they were before; I am honestly terrified that I’ll have to go through those nine months again

I could get on my soap box and preach, and preach, and preach about how important it is to face your hardships. The reason for that is because, even though I had no hope, I still had faith. I knew that eventually something good would come out of my struggles, so I was determined not to give up. I only remember a few Sundays that I stayed home from church because I felt nauseous, and that was because I made the hard choice. I knew that if I gave in, and stayed home, I would be giving in to Satan for throwing all of these struggles at me. And I was determined not to give in. Now, after nine months, I’m seeing the good.

I talked to one of my youth leaders about what’s been going on the last couple months. A week prior to learning about the study, she asked me if I’d ever be willing to share what I’ve learned. It looks like I’ll have the opportunity to share quite a lot this year, and maybe help a lot of people out.

Last week I actually considered telling her I didn’t want to share, because I didn’t want to spend too much time dwelling on it. I’m really afraid things will get bad again if I dwell on it to much. So, instead of giving in to fear, I decided to make the hard choice and share. Trust me, as someone who has had to make hard decisions left and right for the last five years, the last thing I want to do is make another one. But I know I have too.

There are so many things that come with our struggles, both good and bad. The hard part is not getting absorbed in how bad you feel, trudging on, and  doing the best you can with what you have. You won’t be perfect, and some days you will feel like crap. But, you always have God with you, you don’t have to face anything alone, and not everything lasts forever.

Pretty soon I wanna try and write a blog post about one way I keep going when I feel like crap. It’s something that has helped me multiple times, and I really hope it’ll help you all as well.

I’ve recently started watching Bob Ross (3 episodes in so far) and I’ve learned quite a lot. I decided instead of spending a ton of money on art classes I’d try teaching myself, and it’s totally played off.

A couple weeks ago I was at F.Y.E. with my cousin, and we saw this picture of the Deathly Hallows from Harry Potter. I looked at my cousin, and I said, “I could do that.” Thus I departed on a mission to paint what I had seen.

After a couple weeks, and having a vague idea of what I was painting, the painting obviously didn’t look the same as the one at F.Y.E. (also because they used a different medium to create the picture). But, I say it looks pretty cool otherwise. I also got the chance to use some things I learned from my three episodes of Bob Ross.

I tried two new techniques with this painting.

I used sort of a dry brush technique to get the smokey look on the edges, then I added a little white to give it some depth, and smoothed it all out with a brush to get ride of the brush strokes.

Another technique I used was some water colors I got recently. I wanted to try the tube water colors, as opposed to the pallet, just to see if there was a difference. I looked it up online, and the site I went to said the tube colors are brighter because the color is more concentrated.  I forgot that, so when I went to get a cool, light, smokey look with my watercolors it was SUPER vibrant. But, with the help of some other colors, using a brush and some water to water down the preexisting colors, it turned out great. Almost exactly how I imagined it. And, as Bob Ross has helped me learn, mistakes are only happy accidents. It may not be perfect, but it’s exactly the way it was supposed to be.

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