Blog

Me

I’m the kind of person that’ll sing in the middle of the grocery store at nine o’ clock at night. The kind of person that’ll dance pretty much anywhere, and get random people to dance with me. I rarely care what people think about me, and I love living life that way.

I love life with the freedom to laugh, and have fun, and not be afraid of judgement. Sure, there are times when I wish people saw me differently, but I never let that get in my way. I like being different, and showing people that different is awesome.

One of my favorite things to do is make people laugh. Whether it’s by telling a joke, or being weird. Even if I’m dancing in the grocery store and notice someone watching me, look up, and see them smiling, I’ll be happy. It’s a really good feeling to be able to share a laugh with someone.

What’s even cooler is when I get people to do those things with me. When I get a group of friends to start dancing with me in a random place; when my cousin, sister, and I all break out in song somewhere. Those times are some of the best times.

There was one time my cousin, sister, and I were all at Walmart. We were walking down the aisles when we found these huge animal heads. Of course we had to stop and make a music video of all of us dancing with the heads on. What else would one do at Walmart?

My Week

Last week, was insane. I gave up pretty much all hope of trying to write. But, for all who’ve missed me, I’ll try to pick it up again this week. I should have some more time… right?

Over the last week I’ve done a lot of things, but they were all either fun, or successful (or both). It all started with Base Camp. I might’ve written about this before, but, Base Camp is what my church calls vacation bible school. People come and volunteer in puppets and drama, help decorate, and even lead various groups of kids to help them learn more about God. It’s probably one of the coolest (and most fun) things I’ve been apart of.

I started out doing drama a couple years ago, and this year I continued helping some friends of mine lead motions for the kids. It was my favorite part of the week. The first day or so it was just my friends and I up on stage, but by the end of the week we had probably half the entire group of kids up there singing and dancing with us. It was awesome.

A lot of the time it’s hard for us to get kids to do the motions and really get into it, but this year that was no issue. Not even for the older kids.

Now on to the weekend. I finally spoke at the WordCamp I wrote about a while ago. As worried as I was, it went swimmingly. My mom suggested I read what I wrote, instead of making an outline, so it would be a little easier. She was right. It felt a little awkward at first but reading it really helped me block out everything else going on.

The only problem with that is that I got a little lost in my slides. But, getting lost and being able to joke about it really helped me calm down. And I think it made me a little more relatable. The best part was getting so much support from people.

So, for all that this week was insane and I’m really excited about sleep, it was great. I loved getting to know all the kids at Base Camp, and I loved being able to see my “family” from WordCamp.

The Cocoon

I love my cocoon beyond words. It’s a place I feel safe, and warm, and protected from all the things. My cocoon contains books, stuffed animals, my blanket, and many various warm beverages. Everyone needs a cocoon. They need a place to recuperate and get ready to face the world one more time.

I’ve had quite a busy week. I have my WordCamp talk due in a week, and next week my church is having it’s Vacation Bible School (we call it Base Camp). I was in a really good writing mood Thursday night, so I stayed up until about 11:30. I’ve stayed up that late multiple times before, so I assumed I’d be fine Friday. I was wrong. Around lunch I moved between two spots, and two spots only. The couch, and my window seat (it’s basically a make shift bed). I was pretty productive this morning, but after lunch I tried to move as little as possible. I was completely exhausted.

I think that was good for me, though. I’ve been so busy lately it’s been a while since I’ve taken a day off. I actually took a NAP. That rarely happens unless I’m dying of the plague, or have a cold or something.

Let’s just say, my cocoon was put to good use. I got to hide a little bit, recharge, listen to some good tunage (music), and get ready to face the rest of life.

Depression

My family has struggled with depression as long as I can remember. I don’t have a depression disorder, but, like everyone else, there are times when I just get depressed. It’s usually something about myself, and I’ve really struggled over the years to deal with it.

A couple nights ago I found myself in that spot. I was depressed because I didn’t really see any good in myself, so, I made a list of all the things people have told me I’m good at. The things I don’t see, but others clearly do. At the time, I felt kind of stupid making that list, but it really did help.

Quite often when I’m depressed, pretty much any idea to help fix it seems dumb. It seems dumb to write, or hear, something good about myself, but I need it. Everyone needs it. Everyone needs to know they make a difference, and that they bring joy to other peoples lives. The trick, though, is to believe what those people say. No matter what they say, it won’t make a difference until you choose to start seeing what they do. The truth.

A New Step

With the creation of my blog came a brand new open door. I didn’t realize it at the time, but by using WordPress more as a blog, I started to dabble in the creation of websites. I started to get more comfortable with my own blog, so creating a social media site for my church (with my dad’s help) didn’t seem so impossible. A couple months ago, I did that. I had my first social site up and running.

After learning so much from the creation of a social site, I decided to speak at WordCamp Grand Rapids 2018. (WordCamp is a conference where you can learn how to do things like build websites, or social sites, or even just learn some cool business tools.) I’ve created and given a presentation before, but this will be my first time speaking at a WordCamp.

I know people who speak at these aaaaaalll the time, but for me this feels like a huge step. Not only am I getting speaking experience, but I feel like this could open a lot of doors in the long run. And it feels really good to be able to do something with what I worked so hard for.

I’m excited for this new step, and a bit nervous. I never thought I’d get to the point where I could speak about anything, really. I’ve gotten a lot of that lately. Never thought I’d be an artist, never thought I’d be a writer, never thought I’d be a musician. And yet, I’m all of those.

I think the key take-away, here, is to never say never. Don’t say it, don’t believe it, don’t even think it. You don’t know what God’s plan for you is, and if you stop at never, you may not get to the end goal. That point where you can step back, look at yourself in the mirror, and say, “Huh. Look at what happened to all those nevers?”

Sounds

You ever just stop and listen? Go some place, hear something, and just stop? I love doing that. Hearing something and breaking it down until I can hear every sound, where it’s coming from, and what’s making it.

Take a song you really like, for instance. You know it by heart, but if you listen to it enough times you’ll start to hear all the components. Every instrument, every sound, every word. It’s amazing what you can find when you really look for it.

If you get time this week I really encourage you all to go someplace, and just listen. Close your eyes and try to break apart everything you can hear. Really examine it.

“We don’t make mistakes, only happy little accidents.” – Bob Ross

I love that quote so much. Without that quote, I honestly doubt I would be an artist.

I get frustrated very easily, and I’ve been told I tend to be quite stubborn, so when my art didn’t turn out the way I thought it should, I would quit. I think that’s why I never really became an artist until now. Here’s a great story for you, though.

Do you see this cat?

This cat was supposed to be a big, hairy, fluffy dog named marshmallow. Now, there are two things I could take away from this:

1. It’s not a dog.
2. IT’S SIR THOMAS III!!! (a.k.a. Tommy)

If I hadn’t ran with it, and just let the art become itself, I would’ve never ended up with this adorable cat (with which I hope to get someday).

That advice from Bob Ross doesn’t only apply to art, either. There are so many days I get up, and have a plan, and it just doesn’t work out. I’m still working on not getting frustrated with that…

Knowing that all art comes together by itself, though, really is quite reassuring. On days when I’m stuck I can either stare at my art, or try something. Often the idea of trying something is terrifying, but if I never tried something I would never learn anything new.

That quote from Bob Ross gives me the courage to go out and try something new. Whether it’s in every day life, or my art.

Painted Rain

During the last month or so I gained two things:

  1. Information; a barista at Starbucks taught me a new water color technique (the “drop” method).
  2. Inspiration; a friend of mine asked if I’d ever tried painting rain.

I had never tried the drop method, nor painting rain. I had a box I’ve been meaning to paint, so I figured, “Why not? Let’s try this painted rain thing.”

I tried two different methods. First, I used my water colors and dripped various colors down the side. In my second attempt, I put my water drips on first and, then, getting a more concentrated amount of color on my brush, touched the spots where I wanted the color to flow. It was AMAZING. I can’t even explain how beautiful the paint was moving through the water.

I knew I wanted to put my hand print on the bottom of the box, but I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to do it. The first time I did a hand print I used spray paint, but that was a bit messy… (I had paint on my hands for days.) I thought about using my acrylics, but then I thought, “What if I get my hand wet?” I brushed a generous amount of water on my hand, and pressed it onto the box. After that I dropped in my paint, and created this:

I swirled the colors around a little, but I tried to stick with my basic print. What I did on the corners is drop as well.

When I was younger I never really saw a point in water colors. It wasn’t until this project that I discovered how amazing they can be. Water colors are almost like a whole different universe when it comes to art. They swirl together and create their own beautiful world of color. It may very well be one of my favorite types of art.

The Difference in People

I feel like I’ve spent years and years hearing stories about people who put there heart and soul into something and made it happen. I’ve always wanted to have something that I just, “made happen”. Turns out it’s not that easy. In so many aspects of my life I have tried to push, and push, and push. You know what I learned? Sometimes you need to step back, look at what your pushing, and decide if it’s really worth it. Or at least reevaluate and see if you WANT to keep pushing.

I, myself, tend to get caught up in the pushing, and where I’m going, and completely forget why I started in the first place. Everything I do just becomes hard, and unfun, and never like it was when I just started. I’m never focused on the thing I love, but getting to a “goal” I thought I had to achieve. It made me think, “If this is so hard, why not go back to when it was fun? When I actually enjoyed it?”

I’m not saying the constant pushing is a bad thing, and some people really need it, but I just don’t work like that. I always thought I had too, but I don’t. There’s nothing wrong with doing what you love and keeping it that way.

My Role

I feel like the role I play in a majority of people’s lives is comic relief. When I first realized this a couple years ago I was kind of disappointed. I mean, what kid wants to be the plucky sidekick instead of the super hero? For years I tried acting differently. Being a leader, being brave, being the one to stand up for something. But, no matter how hard I tried, I was always the plucky sidekick. After trying and failing I eventually just accepted who I was and lived with it. (Not that I really failed, though. I learned how to do all the things I had tried to do before.) It wasn’t until recently, though, that I discovered how cool it is to be the plucky sidekick. I don’t even have to try to make someone laugh, or to cheer them up when they have a bad day. That’s just me.

Something I took from this discovery is that we need all different types of people in our lives. We need leaders, and we need plucky sidekicks. I mean, where would Batman be without Robin? Or Robin without Batman? Let’s just say, I’m so thankful to be who I am. To be able to spread joy wherever I go. That’s something I never want to try and hide ever again, and I really hope none of you do either.