Category: Old Posts

I really love people, but sometimes that comes back to bite me. One of my biggest struggles is sitting back and watching people wrestle through their struggles. It’s taken me a while (sixteen years or so), but I finally figured out the good in STAYING AWAY.

It’s really easy for me to put everything I have into the lives (and struggles) of other people. And, I mean everything. All I’ll think about is someone else’s struggles and how to fix them. It completely wears me down, and usually does nothing but make more pain for both parties. Something I’ve been learning over the last year is how to back off. At first, it made no sense. Why wouldn’t I want to make other people’s lives better? Well, this is why:

• I can’t live my own life if I’m always worn down
• Other people won’t learn the lessons that come with their struggles if I fix them
• Sometimes we need to face things ourselves to really feel the weight of what’s going on
• It’s impossible to change someone else’s mind

That last one is probably one of the main reasons I quit. People are like sheep. They’re never going to change what they’re doing until they realize for themselves what needs to be done. Even if it makes total sense to me, no amount of convincing will make someone change their mind.

So, after stopping trying to fix everything (that was never mine to fix anyway), I’ve felt great! No longer am I always thinking about “problems”, or feeling stressed, or emotionally out of it. Mainly, I don’t feel so much weight. I don’t feel like I have to fix things. Obviously there are still times when I want to fix things, and when I feel the burden, but then I give it to God and say, “I’ve already seen countless times how I can’t fix/ change anything. So, I’m giving it to you, because I know that eventually you’ll help them see the wisdom they need.”

Here’s where my inner “mom” comes out. I hate sitting back and watching. I’m pretty sure anyone who’s a mom can agree that it’s hard to watch your kids learn something the hard way because they wouldn’t listen. But, I think they can also agree that it needs to happen. Some of the best lessons are the ones we learn on our own. It’s like reading about something versus doing it. In the end, which will give you more experience?

When I was younger I always wanted to be somebody big. Someone known for doing something (specifically, something important, but I’d take what I could get). I wanted to be a musician, or an artist, that made and did great things. Well, now I am, and I’ve relearned some interesting things.

This month is Inktober (where you draw something once a day in ink), and I’ve gotten a lot of views and a lot of great feedback. I’m sick of it. All I ever hear from people is how great my art is, and it’s nice, but I don’t always see it that way. Sometimes I’m not crazy about what I come up with, and it’s just annoying to get good feedback.

It’s the same with my music. I’ve never gotten bad feedback from my music. And, while it’s nice to hear that people like it, it would be cool to know what else. Did it inspire you? Did it mean anything to you? I’m also not crazy about the attention. I think I would like playing for people a lot more if I didn’t get so much.

The point, here, is that it’s not always what it’s cracked up to be. I thought once I had these things I’d mean something, but I learned that’s not the case. What we do doesn’t define us, it’s WHO WE ARE. I’ve heard this so many times in my life, and was convinced I knew it already, but sometimes we need reminders of what truly matters.

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I finished reading through Ecclesiastes in my devos this week. I know it’s one of the most depressing books of the Bible, but I actually really liked it. It shifted my perspective on life. It changed why I put so much effort into the things I do, and it helped me prioritize what really matters most.

I never wanted to waste my life. I wanted to use the free time I have now for something useful, because I knew I wouldn’t have much time in college. This was definitely NOT the fun option. It seemed like a good idea, and it seemed like a good discipline to be spending my time this way, but I never liked doing it. While I was reading Ecclesiastes I found a verse that reminds us that all things were created by God, and we need to enjoy these gifts as well. GOD CREATED THE FUN STUFF. Work, and learning, are good. They benefit us. But so does watching a movie on a Friday night; or hanging out with your friends; or maybe even just doing random stuff with your family. The fun things are important. They give us a break from all the hard things and remind us that there’s good in the world.

What I’ve been trying to work on is balance. The balance between the fun stuff, and the not so fun. Both are important, and God didn’t intend for us to live life without either one.

I am my worst critic. Everyone is their worst critic. In their music, in their art, or their writing. To us, our stuff is just plain bad. It will never be “as good” as something anyone else ever makes, or writes. You know the interesting thing, though? It never will be.

Continue reading “I Am The Worst”

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Being a senior in high school, pretty much everyone asks me where I want to go to college. I’ve known for a while now that I want to go to a missions school, and that usually makes people ask even more questions.

I went to a conference a couple months ago, and a friend of mine started asking me where I wanted to college and what I wanted to study. When I told him that I wanted to be a missionary he asked me a really interesting question. He asked me why I wanted to be a missionary. Right of the top of my head, I said, “So I can spread the gospel.” But then he clarified his question a little more. He wanted to know why I wanted to share the gospel.

At the time, I really didn’t have a good answer for him. That doesn’t mean, however, that I stopped thinking about it. I spent a good couple days trying to figure out why. My conclusion was that I love people. I’ve spent enough time observing other people, and myself, to know that a relationship with Christ will change your life for the better, and forever. I wanted to go through life showing people the love I’ve felt from Christ, and showing them how they can have a relationship with Him.

It feels like this post is long over due. I mean, I know it’s only been two weeks since I said I would write it, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

In my post about How to Do Hard Things I said I wanted to share a way that I look for the good. This method can take a lot of work, but it’s really seemed to help me get through the tough spots (when I’ve been able to do it, that is).

When all of life seems terrible I try to look for the good in just about everything. Not just in the big, obvious things, but also in the little things. If I’m sad that it’s raining (which I never am), I try and think about how good it smells, or I’ll look for the light shining off the water droplets and think about how pretty it is. Most of the good I see, and the inspiration I get, are based off of nature. However, there are plenty of good things everywhere else. Say, you walk into work and smell coffee, and it reminds you of your mom. Or, you see a really good friend and they give you a hug just as long as you need them too. I’ve actually been sick for the last couple days, so when I took nighttime cold medicine, and I smelled the chill of a late evening, I was definitely reminded of Christmas.

These little things are often what helps me get through the day and reminds me that not everything is bad. It may seem like everything is falling apart, and it may be, but the little pieces of good give you hope. They can be the emotional glue keeping you together until you can do it on your own.

For all that this is a great method, you have to be careful that you’re not using it as a band-aid to avoid dealing with the hard things. Our struggles are a good thing. We always learn something from them. But, if you hide from them, they will keep getting bigger, and bigger. The “Little Things” method is used to give you a boost. Like having a daily cheering section. If used correctly, it should give you just the right amount of hope you need to keep wading through the water of life.

I know I said last week that I was going to write a post about one way I deal with hard things, but that is not happening this week. I figured before I keep posting I should update everyone on some new things.

I’m going to start posting on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and I’m still going to be doing Photograph Fridays. I’m going to post sometime between 5 and 6, so that if I procrastinate (not that I ever do *cough cough*) I’ll have plenty of time to try and write a post.

Also, Erin Go Blog now has a Facebook page! I really don’t know much about starting a Facebook page, so I guarantee there will be plenty of bumps along the road. This should be another easy way for people to find out when there are any new posts or galleries.

This particular post isn’t really that interesting, but make sure to come back next week. I have a couple good ones in store.